Facebook ads and too many practices eli.cranor@gmail.com August 15, 2021 Eli Cranor is a former professional quarterback and coach turned award-winning author. Please use the “Contact” page at elicranor.com to send in questions for “Athletic Support.”

Dear Athletic Support: My son saw a Facebook ad for this basketball training tool that I think is ridiculous. It’s basically just a plastic hand attached to an elastic band. The hand covers the players face, simulating a defender, I guess? When he showed me the ad, I literally laughed out loud. I thought it was a joke, but my son was serious. He really thinks this will improve his game. What do you think?

— Give Me a Hand

Dear Hand: Take your son’s interest in this strange product as a good sign. He’s interested in basketball. He’s invested enough that the Facebook algorithms are showing him b-ball-themed advertisements!

Granted, this product does sound weird. A plastic hand in your face? What’s the point of that?

Regardless, I’d still urge you to consider purchasing this product for him. And, no, I’m not crazy. It’s just that you want to support your son’s interest. You want to stoke his flame, so to speak. As long as it’s not too expensive, I’d go ahead and pull the trigger.



Dear Athletic Support: I’m tired. Just plain old exhausted. We’ve been doing travel-league baseball all summer, and now football is already starting up again. I have three sons, ranging in ages from seventh grade to a sophomore in high school. All three of them play baseball and football. I really feel like I’m about to give out. My husband works on oil rigs and is gone for long periods of time. He’s super supportive when he’s here and helps out a lot — he’s just not home all that often. With football already upon us, I’m not sure I can keep going at this pace. Do you have any ideas about how I could lighten my load? I don’t want to ask any of my sons to quit football, but I’m not sure how I’m going to get them all to the different practices and games coming up this fall.

— Worn Plumb Out

Dear Worn: No, you don’t want to ask your sons to quit football. With your husband’s work schedule, I’m guessing your sons’ coaches provide strong male role models for your boys. So let’s take that option completely off the table.

What you can do, however, is ask for help.

I’m guessing you have a few friends on each of your sons’ teams. Maybe your boys are friends with these parents’ kids? If so, that’ll make this even easier. I’m talking about a carpool!

What I would do is set up a schedule with the other parents for the remaining summer practices. Work it so each of you only have to take the boys a couple times a week. Since you have three sons, maybe you could work out a deal like this for each of them.

If you play your cards right, you might even have a day where you don’t have to drive anyone to practice. How’s that sound?


Previous columns:

• Coach pushing vaccine on players
• Youth sports like a cult
• Coach’s pregame speech too crazy for kids
• Championship rings and multiple sweatbands — too much?
• Working out over the Dead Weeks?
• Summer School Blues
• Practices running late causing problems
• Softball games going past midnight
• Are athletes getting better with age?
• Are team sports a vital part of childhood?
• Summer schedule way too serious
• What if I can’t afford private speed camps?
• Quarterback lacks speed
• Should pro athletes talk politics?
• How to take a hit
• Wrestling in college, what’s the point?
• Removal of mask requirement could cost us games
• Overachieving daughter stinks at sports
• Why are we playing all the small schools?
• Freshmen don’t make varsity, usually
• Kids have changed, haven’t they?
• Esports and disc golf bigger than football?
• Little pitchers have big ears
• Pregame music offensive
• Fouls in girls basketball
• Red Shirting
• Coach makes political post
• 7th grade girls basketball woes
• Multi-million-dollar buyouts don’t make sense
• Private schools have the upper hand
• Best of 2020

Athletic Support Columns 2020


Outside of athletics, kids’ brains are also at risk. Who knows what sort of impact virtual learning will have on their cognition and critical thinking skills. In this regard, I offer one simple tool — a good book! And luckily, I know just the book for kids struggling with the shift to virtual learning:

BOOKS MAKE BRAINZ TASTE BAD! Okay, you caught me… I’m the author of this book. It was published last week and awarded a #1 New Release ranking on Amazon. BMBTB deals directly with the same topic covered in this column, except in a much more lighthearted, kid-friendly way (zombie teachers and brain-munching screens!) If you end up purchasing this book for your children or grandchildren, I only have one final suggestion — ask them to read it while standing up! Eli Cranor's new book Books Make Brainz Taste Bad has just been released. ZOMBIES HATE BOOKS! Especially the zombie teachers at Haven Middle School. That's why they're using VR headsets to fry kids' brainz. Luckily, Dash Storey knows how to save his classmates from the zombie teachers—BOOKS! They make brainz taste bad! "Eli Cranor has an almost unbeatable advantage. He can remember how it felt to think like a twelve-year-old and he can see the very same events like the adult he is. Don't try to resist this book!" - Jack Butler, Pulitzer-Prize nominated author