Housekeeper can’t make daughter’s game eli.cranor@gmail.com October 3, 2021 Eli Cranor is a former professional quarterback and coach turned award-winning author. Please use the “Contact” page at elicranor.com to send in questions for “Athletic Support.”

Dear Athletic Support: We have a housekeeper. We’re really close with her. Her family comes over for cookouts, our daughters are friends, and she cleans our house each week. This week, though, my wife and I were rushing out trying to make it to a volleyball game by four in the afternoon. Our housekeeper smiled and said something like, “Wish I could make it.” That’s when it hit me — her daughter is on the volleyball team too! If I were a turtle, I would’ve crawled deep inside my shell and never come back out. I felt horrid. As we drove to the volleyball game, I started to question so many of the things I worry about as an “athletic” parent. All this really crazy stuff that I like to call “first-world problems.” I mean, I’ve heard parents complaining about everything from playing time to game-time decisions. Heck, one time my wife went to the coach to talk to her about the uniforms! Ugh. I guess the reason I’m writing this is because I wanted to share this realization. This idea that there are parents out there — people like our housekeeper — who don’t have the time to worry over the minutia of their children’s athletic activities. In some cases, they can’t even make it to the games because of their work schedules, and that was a real gut check for me. It really made me question my thought process regarding my daughter’s athletic career. In your opinion, can a parent care too much about his kids’ athletics? Like, would it somehow be better if I didn’t have the time worry so much about practice schedules and performance? Or is my daughter benefitting from the extra attention I’m able to give her?

— Longwinded

Dear Longwinded: There’s a balance to all things. Your daughter’s athletics are important. Sure. But like anything else, you can definitely overdo it too.

My dad has two brothers and a sister. Both his parents worked, and his mother carried all of the load around the house. Dad has said, on multiple occasion, that his mom didn’t have time to worry about the small stuff, and that was a good thing.

In many ways, life is easier than ever now. Our dishes and laundry are washed by machines. We can even pick up our groceries without ever stepping foot in the store!

But with luxury comes responsibility.

What I mean here is that the more time we have to relax, the more time we have to worry, obsess, and generally overthink our lives.

As you well know, this worry has bled over into youth sports. We obsess over the smallest, most inconsequential details, and in many ways ruin what was fun about youth sports to begin with.

So, yeah, take a page out of your housekeeper’s book. Get your hands dirty. Get involved in something else other than youth volleyball, and let your daughter’s season play out organically. Sometimes, too much water can kill a flower faster than a drought.


Previous columns:

• Auditions getting in the way of volleyball
• Foul language on the sideline
• Laundry Stinks
• Fit more important than price when it comes to cleats
• Facebook ads and too many practices
• Coach pushing vaccine on players
• Youth sports like a cult
• Coach’s pregame speech too crazy for kids
• Championship rings and multiple sweatbands — too much?
• Working out over the Dead Weeks?
• Summer School Blues
• Practices running late causing problems
• Softball games going past midnight
• Are athletes getting better with age?
• Are team sports a vital part of childhood?
• Summer schedule way too serious
• What if I can’t afford private speed camps?
• Quarterback lacks speed
• Should pro athletes talk politics?
• How to take a hit
• Wrestling in college, what’s the point?
• Removal of mask requirement could cost us games
• Overachieving daughter stinks at sports
• Why are we playing all the small schools?
• Freshmen don’t make varsity, usually
• Kids have changed, haven’t they?
• Esports and disc golf bigger than football?
• Little pitchers have big ears
• Pregame music offensive
• Fouls in girls basketball
• Red Shirting
• Coach makes political post
• 7th grade girls basketball woes
• Multi-million-dollar buyouts don’t make sense
• Private schools have the upper hand
• Best of 2020

Athletic Support Columns 2020


Outside of athletics, kids’ brains are also at risk. Who knows what sort of impact virtual learning will have on their cognition and critical thinking skills. In this regard, I offer one simple tool — a good book! And luckily, I know just the book for kids struggling with the shift to virtual learning:

BOOKS MAKE BRAINZ TASTE BAD! Okay, you caught me… I’m the author of this book. It was published last week and awarded a #1 New Release ranking on Amazon. BMBTB deals directly with the same topic covered in this column, except in a much more lighthearted, kid-friendly way (zombie teachers and brain-munching screens!) If you end up purchasing this book for your children or grandchildren, I only have one final suggestion — ask them to read it while standing up! Eli Cranor's new book Books Make Brainz Taste Bad has just been released. ZOMBIES HATE BOOKS! Especially the zombie teachers at Haven Middle School. That's why they're using VR headsets to fry kids' brainz. Luckily, Dash Storey knows how to save his classmates from the zombie teachers—BOOKS! They make brainz taste bad! "Eli Cranor has an almost unbeatable advantage. He can remember how it felt to think like a twelve-year-old and he can see the very same events like the adult he is. Don't try to resist this book!" - Jack Butler, Pulitzer-Prize nominated author