I wish my son practiced less eli.cranor@gmail.com October 31, 2021 Eli Cranor is a former professional quarterback and coach turned award-winning author. Please use the “Contact” page at elicranor.com to send in questions for “Athletic Support.”

Dear Athletic Support: Okay. I’m trying so hard not to be “that dad,” but I’m really having a tough time with my son’s new basketball coach. Deep down, I think he’s a really good coach. He’s just too much. Especially for 8th grade basketball! I mean, they’re basically like the JV junior high squad. If I’m being honest, the problem has more to do with my son than anything. He’s tall, but he’s not that athletic. And honestly, he’s not even that into basketball. I just think he likes being a part of the team. Hanging out with his friends. All that good stuff. I like the fact that he’s up and moving. Not just playing video games all afternoon. But this coach is just so serious. The boys have to be at the gym at 6:45 AM every single morning. That’s so hard on my wife and me. And for what? Just so my son can ride the bench when the games start? I’m really thinking about having a meeting with this coach. I don’t really know what I’d say, though. Like, how do you explain that you want your son to be on the team, but you don’t want him to have to structure his whole life around 8th grade basketball? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

— That Dad

Dear That Dad: Let me get this straight: you’re proposing is some sort of tiered-practice-time commitment. Where the starters are required to practice more than the players who will undoubtedly end up riding the bench?

I’ve never thought of that before.

And I can see where you’re coming from. All the points you’ve laid out make sense. At that age, a young athlete’s talent can range wildly. The gap in talent level can be so wide, in fact, that it may seem like your son will never have a chance of making the starting five.

And if that’s the case, why put in the work?

Armpit hair.

I’m serious. Puberty can make a perennial bench warmer into the team’s top scorer in less than a year. And if that happens to your son, then he’ll need to be practicing — just as much as everyone else — when it’s his time to shine.

Now, if you’re simply just not interested, or capable, of making a time commitment like this coach is requesting, then maybe athletics aren’t the right activity for your son.

Youth sports, especially in the South, are taken extremely serious these days. Whether or not this fanatical approach is warranted is a question for another day.

The one thing I can tell you, though, is that there’s a wide array of other activities your son could do. Activities that won’t take up nearly as much time and still give him the companionship he’s after.

If you do decide to approach your son’s coach with your reduced-practice-time proposition, I wish you the best of luck.


Previous columns:

• When should my son start football?
• No ‘bad faces’ in basketball
• Son wants to join football team midway through season
• Housekeeper can’t make daughter’s game
• Auditions getting in the way of volleyball
• Foul language on the sideline
• Laundry Stinks
• Fit more important than price when it comes to cleats
• Facebook ads and too many practices
• Coach pushing vaccine on players
• Youth sports like a cult
• Coach’s pregame speech too crazy for kids
• Championship rings and multiple sweatbands — too much?
• Working out over the Dead Weeks?
• Summer School Blues
• Practices running late causing problems
• Softball games going past midnight
• Are athletes getting better with age?
• Are team sports a vital part of childhood?
• Summer schedule way too serious
• What if I can’t afford private speed camps?
• Quarterback lacks speed
• Should pro athletes talk politics?
• How to take a hit
• Wrestling in college, what’s the point?
• Removal of mask requirement could cost us games
• Overachieving daughter stinks at sports
• Why are we playing all the small schools?
• Freshmen don’t make varsity, usually
• Kids have changed, haven’t they?
• Esports and disc golf bigger than football?
• Little pitchers have big ears
• Pregame music offensive
• Fouls in girls basketball
• Red Shirting
• Coach makes political post
• 7th grade girls basketball woes
• Multi-million-dollar buyouts don’t make sense
• Private schools have the upper hand
• Best of 2020

Athletic Support Columns 2020


Outside of athletics, kids’ brains are also at risk. Who knows what sort of impact virtual learning will have on their cognition and critical thinking skills. In this regard, I offer one simple tool — a good book! And luckily, I know just the book for kids struggling with the shift to virtual learning:

BOOKS MAKE BRAINZ TASTE BAD! Okay, you caught me… I’m the author of this book. It was published last week and awarded a #1 New Release ranking on Amazon. BMBTB deals directly with the same topic covered in this column, except in a much more lighthearted, kid-friendly way (zombie teachers and brain-munching screens!) If you end up purchasing this book for your children or grandchildren, I only have one final suggestion — ask them to read it while standing up! Eli Cranor's new book Books Make Brainz Taste Bad has just been released. ZOMBIES HATE BOOKS! Especially the zombie teachers at Haven Middle School. That's why they're using VR headsets to fry kids' brainz. Luckily, Dash Storey knows how to save his classmates from the zombie teachers—BOOKS! They make brainz taste bad! "Eli Cranor has an almost unbeatable advantage. He can remember how it felt to think like a twelve-year-old and he can see the very same events like the adult he is. Don't try to resist this book!" - Jack Butler, Pulitzer-Prize nominated author