Athletic Support: Son won’t get off phone eli.cranor@gmail.com December 19, 2021 Eli Cranor is a former professional quarterback and coach turned award-winning author. Please use the “Contact” page at elicranor.com to send in questions for “Athletic Support.”

Dear Athletic Support: My son doesn’t play sports. He doesn’t do the band. He’s not a gamer. He literally just sits on his phone all day. He’s fourteen, and this started when he was twelve. That’s when we first got him a phone. I’m sure the pandemic didn’t help. He was out of school, we were all locked in the house, and he just kept playing with his phone more and more. I’m writing to you because I think getting him involved in some sort of after-school athletics program would help. I don’t, however, want it to be football or basketball or baseball. Honestly, I doubt he could make any of those teams. Do you have any recommendations for my son? What are some sports he could join at this stage of adolescence and still be able to compete? Actually, I’m not even all that interested in him competing. I just want him to have fun and get off that stinking phone!

— Cellular Problems

Dear Call: You’re wise not to try and push your son into one of those three main sports. By fourteen, it would be hard for a boy who’s never played football or baseball or basketball to just join up with a team and succeed.

Even if starting or being a “star” weren’t his goals, it would still be tough. It’d be like trying to perform in a piano recital without having ever practiced the piano.

Honestly, there aren’t any “easier” sports. All the different activities take time and effort to master. But if you’re just looking for something for your son to do that will get him off his phone, I would suggest swimming.

There is no greater workout than swimming laps. If your son isn’t a swimmer, he could also try cross-country. Both will provide him with great exercise and a bigger endorphin kick than any smartphone!


Dear Athletic Support: Do you have any at-home workouts I can do with my middle-school daughter over the Christmas Break? Her basketball coach isn’t holding any practices, which I’m thankful for, but I’d still like for her to stay in shape. I wouldn’t mind burning a few calories either.

— Eggnog

Dear Eggnog: Jogging is a low-impact activity you and your daughter should be able to do over the break. Distance doesn’t really matter as much as time. Try and run for thirty straight minutes without stopping and see how that feels. You can adjust from there.

If the weather isn’t great for jogging, or you don’t have anywhere to jog around your house, then body-weight squats, yoga stretches, pushups, pullups, and sit-ups are always great.

Again, aim for a thirty-minute workout. That’s the key. You want your heart pumping for a solid half hour. If you can do that for five days a week over the break, you — and your daughter— will be doing just fine.


Previous columns:

• Hard work not paying off
• Naysayers bringing me down
• Player forced to run after missing practice for sickness
• Volunteering at tournament no fun
• Not enough help with Booster Club
• Hoping my son quits basketball
• I wish my son practiced less
• When should my son start football?
• No ‘bad faces’ in basketball
• Son wants to join football team midway through season
• Housekeeper can’t make daughter’s game
• Auditions getting in the way of volleyball
• Foul language on the sideline
• Laundry Stinks
• Fit more important than price when it comes to cleats
• Facebook ads and too many practices
• Coach pushing vaccine on players
• Youth sports like a cult
• Coach’s pregame speech too crazy for kids
• Championship rings and multiple sweatbands — too much?
• Working out over the Dead Weeks?
• Summer School Blues
• Practices running late causing problems
• Softball games going past midnight
• Are athletes getting better with age?
• Are team sports a vital part of childhood?
• Summer schedule way too serious
• What if I can’t afford private speed camps?
• Quarterback lacks speed
• Should pro athletes talk politics?
• How to take a hit
• Wrestling in college, what’s the point?
• Removal of mask requirement could cost us games
• Overachieving daughter stinks at sports
• Why are we playing all the small schools?
• Freshmen don’t make varsity, usually
• Kids have changed, haven’t they?
• Esports and disc golf bigger than football?
• Little pitchers have big ears
• Pregame music offensive
• Fouls in girls basketball
• Red Shirting
• Coach makes political post
• 7th grade girls basketball woes
• Multi-million-dollar buyouts don’t make sense
• Private schools have the upper hand
• Best of 2020

Athletic Support Columns 2020


Outside of athletics, kids’ brains are also at risk. Who knows what sort of impact virtual learning will have on their cognition and critical thinking skills. In this regard, I offer one simple tool — a good book! And luckily, I know just the book for kids struggling with the shift to virtual learning:

BOOKS MAKE BRAINZ TASTE BAD! Okay, you caught me… I’m the author of this book. It was published last week and awarded a #1 New Release ranking on Amazon. BMBTB deals directly with the same topic covered in this column, except in a much more lighthearted, kid-friendly way (zombie teachers and brain-munching screens!) If you end up purchasing this book for your children or grandchildren, I only have one final suggestion — ask them to read it while standing up! Eli Cranor's new book Books Make Brainz Taste Bad has just been released. ZOMBIES HATE BOOKS! Especially the zombie teachers at Haven Middle School. That's why they're using VR headsets to fry kids' brainz. Luckily, Dash Storey knows how to save his classmates from the zombie teachers—BOOKS! They make brainz taste bad! "Eli Cranor has an almost unbeatable advantage. He can remember how it felt to think like a twelve-year-old and he can see the very same events like the adult he is. Don't try to resist this book!" - Jack Butler, Pulitzer-Prize nominated author